It’s Never Too Late: The Transformative Power of Persistence and Self-Compassion

Feeling like it’s too late to change? This episode will challenge that belief and inspire hope for transformation at any age.

Join us as we explore the myth of “it’s too late,” diving into powerful stories of recovery, personal growth, and overcoming addiction. Discover how neuroscience explains our struggles with self-control—and why lasting change is always possible, no matter your setbacks or how many times you’ve tried before.

Key takeaways:
- It’s never too late to make meaningful changes in your life.
- Small victories build confidence and momentum toward long-term success.
- Your inner strength—and a supportive environment—can help you break free from old patterns.

Don’t miss this uplifting conversation on resilience, second chances, and finding light even after years of struggle—tune in now!

Here’s the revised transcript with improved clarity and flow:

---

One of the common feelings among people struggling with relationship issues or addiction is the sense of having wasted so much time, leading to the belief that it’s too late for change. This morning, I reflected on that statement: "It's too late." Let me ask you this: with whatever you are struggling with right now, is it truly too late?

It fascinates me when I meet young people in their mid-20s or early 30s who feel that if they don’t have everything figured out by a certain age, it’s too late. As I continue to age and mature—now at 66 years old—I firmly believe that it’s never too late to change. Even if you’ve struggled with certain issues for years, it’s not too late.

This morning, I reflected on a few individuals I’ve worked with over the years and witnessed miraculous changes in their lives. I can’t pinpoint why some individuals change while others don’t seem ready, but I believe that even those who haven’t yet made the desired changes still have the capacity to do so.

I remember one particular individual I’m meeting with today. We’ve been working together for about two years. When we first started, she was an emotional wreck, her feelings were volatile, and we rarely got through a session without her being in tears. She was frustrated with her addiction to drugs, and the limbic part of her brain had taken over her rational prefrontal cortex.

The rational part of her brain would say, "I don’t want to keep using these substances," yet just ten minutes later, she would be using again. This cycle continued for years.

When we first began our sessions, she couldn’t go more than two hours without taking a hit of her drug of choice. It didn’t matter what the substance was; the limbic system seeks instant gratification. This could be a sexual addiction, a chemical addiction, or anger. We are wired to respond to boredom, loneliness, anger, stress, or fatigue by avoiding those emotions instead of confronting them with a positive attitude and healthy internal dialogue.

She would turn to her drug of choice, despite hating it.

Now, here’s the interesting question: what part of her hated that, and what part kept driving her back to those compelling actions? There are different parts of us, and I love the model of the two-part brain. We have a higher functioning brain where our conscience resides. There is something inside us that is constantly trying to guide us.

I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s words about the eternal struggle between right and wrong. Each of us faces these deep questions. I’ve observed that those who choose actions not in their best interest often become angry and loud, trying to drown out that peaceful, still voice inside them that says, "I know I shouldn’t be doing this."

This beautiful soul I was working with was trying to escape her situation, which is why she entered therapy. There was a part of her that detested what she was doing. I would say, "Let’s set a goal for the next week. After our session, let’s try to go four hours without using." She could only go two hours at that time. She agreed to try.

I told her, "I believe in you. I know there’s a part of you that wants to succeed. Focus on that part of you that has reached out for help. Trust that part; it is strong and capable." The next week, she came back and said, "I went four hours without using!"

Long story short, we kept extending the goal little by little. Eventually, she said, "I haven’t used all week." That was a significant turning point for her. She realized, "I actually did it. I didn’t use my drug of choice for a week." She built on that success and recognized her capacity to tackle challenges.

Yes, there were times when she was triggered, especially since she lived in an environment where other family members used the same drug. After extending her time without using to two weeks, then three weeks, and eventually a month, she faced moments of temptation. She wrestled with the drug in her hands but drew on what we worked on in therapy and her inner strength.

She had support; she wasn’t alone. She knew she would meet with me and expressed, "I want to be able to say I didn’t use because I know the consequences of using. It doesn’t work. It never lasts. It never makes me feel better in the long run."

I repeated certain statements to her, drawing on Greek philosophers like Thucydides, who said, "Of all manifestations of power, restraint impresses men the most." She began to think, "My real power lies in my ability to choose not to do this thing. I have free will, and I choose not to do it, even though my body craves it right now."

She was able to put the drug down and continue moving forward. When we met, she had joyful tears in her eyes and said, "I didn’t use. I didn’t use." There was no sorrow or frustration; instead, there was a sense of freedom.

Now, it’s been well over a year and a half since she last used. When I talk to her now, I see a different person. There’s light in her eyes, her emotions are stable, and she still faces life’s challenges, but she handles them differently. She will say, "I will never go back to that drug." She can see the difference.

It’s never too late. When I first spoke with her, she truly believed it was too late and that she lacked the capacity to change. She had bought into the idea that she couldn’t do it, that she had failed too many times. Yet, somehow, she did.

I’m telling you, you have the power within you to make whatever changes you need. Do not give up on yourself. Even if you’ve slipped a thousand times, get up 1,100 times and keep moving forward. It’s absolutely possible. A little here, a little there; just keep trying. Give yourself credit for your efforts.

It’s not too late. It’s never too late. Even if you’re in your 50s, 60s, 70s, or 80s, just keep trying and moving forward. It’s never too late to make the changes you want. It’s never too late to work on relationships that may not be working.

Relationships often seem full of conflict in almost every situation. That’s a topic for another day, but it’s interesting how relationship issues arise. The fact that we can get along as human beings, even a little, is perhaps a miracle because we are all different. We have different perspectives, wants, and desires, which constantly conflict with others.

So, trying to find peace and being gentle with yourself and others is a worthwhile quest. It’s not too late for you to change things in your life. Seek deep inside yourself and listen to that little whisper of your conscience. There is a part of you that will guide you on what you need to do to make the changes you’re facing right now.

If you can quiet down enough and truly listen, it’s almost like a voice or feeling inside you that will tell you what you need to do to make the course corrections in your life. 

Have an amazing week, and we’ll check in next week.